Posts from the ‘Current Events’ Category

Dec 15

Mrs. Happy International Donuts are Happy

(About) Time to Make the Donuts – Dunkin Donuts Hits Vienna

The calories bombs have arrived and Viennese are willing to stand in line for one of these rainbow colored sugar fat bombs.

So they’re not healthy.

They don’t claim to be. And Dunkin Donuts doesn’t even try to pretend they are. In fact, they even post the nutritional facts on their website in an easy-to-download PDF. But let’s face it, no one runs to the donut shop for a serving of grapefruit with a stick of celery on the side. No, you go because you’re craving sugar, fat and something more.

And what’s the more?

Happy Dunkin Donut Worker

You want to be propelled back to a time when food wasn’t about nutrition, vitamins, proteins and blah blah blah. No, you want to revisit for a pleasant little hour, the days when you chose what you consumed based on the fun factor — blinding neon green lollipops, Lightning Lemonade Bubbalicious and candy made by a chemist who melted ingredients into a syrup and then exposed them to pressurized carbon dioxide gas (600 pounds per square inch (!)) just so you could have the ultimate sensation of Pop Rocks exploding in your mouth and staining your tongue and teeth with toxic shades of red and blue.

Sadly, not even Eric’s homemade brewskis, though ice cold and great with poker, smile back at you when you reach for one.

Queue in front of DD on Mariahilferstrasse in Vienna on a Friday afternoon

But Mrs. Happy International doughnut will. And who can resist smiling back at a bunch of doughnuts grinning from doughnut-edge to doughnut edge. Especially if only the MRS. made it into the shop shelves of Mariahilf though her hubby is featured in the glossy brochure.

More than just donuts – pastrami, wraps and BAGELS!

For Austrians venturing to Dunkin Donuts for the first time – here’s some tips: Yes, Americans do like the flavored coffees – be bold and give ‘em a try, bagels are not to be missed and if you get them to go, take them home and toast them and then slather on some Philadelphia crème cheese purchased at your local Billa or fry up some chives, smoked salmon and eggs and bite into a taste of the Big Apple.

And if you are trying to brownie up at the office, pick up a dozen or two of these glazed temptations to go and then – just because you’re such a great guy (or gal) — drop them on a plate in the staff kitchen, send the “Office All” (even-the-guy-who-sits-next-to-the-copier-who-no-one-knows-his-name) email with the Betreff: “Donuts — Come and Get ‘em While they last.” Then stand back and spectate as your co-workers wrestle till the last (wo)man is triumphantly standing with Boston Crème in hand. (And be sure to put one aside for copy man – you want to be sure he’ll keep helping you unjam the papers you print).

Donuts in every color of the rainbow

For Americans living in Austria – Austrians are like Bilbao Baggins – when you have a birthday, you bring a treat for your co-workers not vice versa so see previous paragraph. With Dunkin Donuts in town, you will never again suffer a birthday morning brain freeze at the local U-Bahn Anker trying to determine if your co-workers would prefer the Kaisergugelhupf or the Topfenkuchen. And the big bonus: THEY ARE OPEN SUNDAYS!

And for Viennese policeman – your American counterparts might like to snag a free donut and coffee by hanging out at the local Dunkin Donuts but – alas – I fear the shop here in Vienna has barely enough seating to accommodate Paris Hilton with her Chihuahua in tow, let alone the city’s defenders of peace and justice.

And anyone who would like to indulge themselves in the total Dunkin Donut experience, just gotta get to know Fred – the “Gotta-Make-the-Donuts” guy. Sometimes a bit creepy, always lovable and a true blue American icon:

Vienna Dunkin Donuts Website: http://dunkin.at/

Anxious donut fans wait in line at Dunkin Donuts shop on Mariahilferstrasse

Two Dunkin Donuts Vienna Locations:

1) Mariahilfer Strasse 95, 1060 Vienna

(end nearest Westbahnhof – U3 Subway Station Zieglergasse)

Monday – Friday: 7 am – 8 pm

Saturdays: 9 am – 9 pm

Sundays: 9 am – 6 pm

2) Meidlinger Hauptstrasse 55, 1120 Vienna

(U4 Subway Meidling Hauptstrasse)

Monday – Friday: 7 am – 8 pm

Dunkin Donuts flavored coffees

Saturdays: 9 am – 9 pm

Sundays: 9 am – 6 pm

Nov 8

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Tearing Down the Walls that Divide – 25 Years after the Fall of the Berlin Wall – Lessons in Light of the Recent US Election Results

Whether or not the politics can assert a line, which can use the large economic, scientific, technical and spiritual potential of the USA in a peaceful cooperation with the international community to bring about a solution for the global problems of mankind — above all maintaining peace — will therefore be decisive in determining the perspectives of the US society. – Last sentence of Walter Stock’s Länder der Erde: USA (Countries of the Earth: USA), DDR 1987

For the first time in the brief but colorful history of Letts Hall dormitory, a phone rang in the distance and no one raced to respond. Not even the climax of our young lives – David Letterman’s reading of the “Top 10 Reasons Why” list – could rival this. Nothing ever had. History may be a recounting of past events but we knew this time we were living it – now – November 9, 1989, – the fall of the Berlin wall.

When operation “Wall of China” commenced on August 13, 1961, the East German government justified the 3.6-meter high, 155 km long mass of barbed wire fence and concrete as an “antifascist wall of protection.” For millions of German citizens, however, the wall represented an impenetrable obstruction dividing loved ones, for the rest of the world, the ultimate symbol of the Cold War dividing East from West. In contrast, the 7.5 meter high, 5000 km long Great Wall of China was a fortification protecting the Chinese from invading Mongol and Turkic tribes. For some, walls keep people out; for others walls keep people in.

Books about USA purchased in DDR in East Berlin

Back cover of 1987 DDR book entitled “Countries of the Earth: USA”

My first real recognition of the walls came at age 16 when visiting East Berlin for a day. Surrendering my passport to the East German border guard, the voice of my seventh grade history teacher, resounded in my mind. “Just eight minutes from total destruction and annihilation!” he thundered fist clenching, voice rising as he paced the aisles between our desks. Silent a significant second or two he then would sneak up behind Kristin F, one of the quietest girls in our class, and explode, “Boom!” nearly jolting her and the rest of us to tears. Mr. M. dramatically confirmed what we were all knew to be a fact of lives.

We were the Cold War generation.

Our trivia repertoire included the random knowledge that if through some twist of fate we managed to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, we’d be sharing the world with cockroaches while subsisting off of Hostess Twinkie cakes. Our lives progressed teetering on the brink nuclear annihilation and overshadowed by the imminent threat of communism.

“Don’t look so scared. I don’t bite,” the young DDR soldier grinned stamping my passport. “But we’re enemies,” I thought. Throughout the day I was confronted with more of my enemies – carefree school children teasing one another, young mothers buzzing in chatter, frail

Pages of 1987 DDR book “Countries of the Earth: USA” about US mass media and culture

Omas warming benches. The buildings were grey and depressing but the people were friendly and often times tried to exchange their DDR Marks for our Western blue jeans.

But we needed our pants and already had too many DDR marks to begin with. Everyone entering the DDR was required to exchange 25 DDR marks a day, which, given the very low cost of food and general lack of any consumer products, proved a difficult undertaking. And one that wasn’t optional either because transporting those DDR marks back out of the country was illegal.

With our bellies full and no interest in the DDR version of blue jeans, we wondered if it would be strictly verboten to just give the money away and somehow suspected it might. Thankfully, that’s when we spotted the bookstore -always the perfect place to spend money. While my peers went to the reference book section to stock up on German-English dictionaries, I went straight to the shelves about foreign countries.

Not all my history teachers had been like Mr. M. There was also Mr. Edelman –though I could never warm up to the beauty of his long hair and plastic comb stuck in his back pocket, I could deeply appreciate a great albeit unconventional teacher. Mr. Edelman had made it his personal mission to teach us to challenge ourselves by questioning everything we thought we knew and had ever learned. Perhaps “History is written by the victors” but the defeated also have their side of the story to tell. He had given us excerpts of textbooks from around the world containing supposed historical facts of the same periods and conflicts but with surprisingly (to my young mind at the time which still wanted to believe history was indeed facts) different information. Dates more than not matched up, yes. But the motivations, perpetrators, heroes, focuses, lessons, outcomes, not by a long shot.

“Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.” – “The Art of War,” Sun Tzu

Sun Tzu wrote that we should know our enemies and know ourselves. I tend to believe it is helpful to see how your enemy sees you and sees him- herself. So while perusing the bookshelves that day, two books in particular immediately caught my eye: “Deadly Profit Greed” (which could have been subtitled: “How the US weapons industry will do everything in its power to demonize the Soviet Union to make money with weapons”) and “Countries of the Earth: USA” which, in addition to photos of the Grand Canyon and Capitol Building, showed hurricanes, Klu Klux Clan rallies, homeless on street benches in DC and a map of the USA detailing missile silos aimed at the Soviet Union.

While we might be exposed to a teacher like Mr. M and movies like “Red Dawn” or songs like “The Russians”, the DDR children had books detailing the US bomb silos targeting them.

Sometimes objects like walls are too close to recognize. Sometimes we can first see them for what they are from a distance – often through travel. Like the walls we erect, in time, within ourselves. As children, we automatically adopt not only our parents’ and nations’ language and culture but also the political and religious belief systems.

At some point, usually as we become teenagers, we gradually grow to question everything we once believed existed in a realm of fact beyond questioning – including the walls that divide – whether they be walls of gender, race, religion or politics The collapse of these walls trigger questions about all other walls we could be inadvertently harboring and maintaining.

What beliefs do we possess and why? Was their form and shape a conscience decision on our part, derived from a thought process we had independently undertaken or simply adopted from our family, our social class, our nation? What makes others our enemies and us theirs? Politics can divide people and instill passionate feelings of us vs. them but in the end, people are people and generally harbor similar fears and hopes for their families and loved ones. And just because you take a look at something from the “opposite side” doesn’t have to make us enemies.

Maybe your political views lead you to believe global warming is a hoax and mine that Houston could be doomed for a watery future. But maybe we both have similar views about education or writing or brownies and beer. And maybe that’s where we find our common ground and connect to overcome the us vs. them. In fact, when enough people extend their arms, and reach through the walls that divide us, the walls slowly begin to chip away and then crumble and something amazing happens — they fall and we find ourselves standing together, arm and arm, finding ways to reach similar objectives peacefully.

Back cover of DDR book about US Weapons Insdustry

Back Cover Book Description of DDR book “Tödliche Profitgier” (Deadly Profit Greed) about USA weapons industry published in 1986

One of the difficulties with walls is recognizing their existence. The 120 cm thick sheet of concrete curtain cutting through more than 190 streets of Berlin was undeniable. Even from a distance orbiting the earth, the 4.5 – 9 meter thick walls of the Great Wall are visible.

And yet, perhaps the greatest walls are those not so visible.

On November 9, 1989, the Berlin Wall fell and I and my peers sat stunned, knowing we were witnessing a historic event marking the dawn of a new era.

A few years later I was studying International Relations at the University of Vienna with a very small, very international group of students. There was John who had just retired from the US State Department and Maria who had received a special study scholarship from Latvia. Part of our studies included an invitation from the Russian Parliament to visit Moscow for two weeks in June.

Perestroika was on everyone lips and the fact that I, as an American, would be permitted to bypass the sturdy babushka clad lady seated on the women’s hall of the University of Moscow dorms to get to my room — quarters outside of a government approved residence — would have been unthinkable a few years before. That trip I not only got reprimanded by a Kalashnikov wielding guard on the Red Square for smiling and whispering as we circled around the very embalmed Lenin, I also stood in line to get my pass at the salad bar at the Moscow Pizza Hut (Vienna at the time had no Pizza Hut but Moscow did). And I swear to you it’s true when I tell you that when the sun came out that cold June and I walked through Gorki Park, speakers attached to the trees playing rock music began blasting none other than the Scorpions “Winds of Change” over and over again.

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me – Scorpions, “Wind of Change”

Excerpt from DDR Book "Tödliche Profitgier"

Excerpt about US film industry and anti-Soviet rhetoric (“propaganda”) with examples of films like “Rocky IV”, “Rambo” and “Red Dawn” from DDR book on USA entitled “Deadly Profit Greed”

Original German quote of translation given above from last pages of book, “Countries of the Earth: USA” Ob sich in die Politik eine Linie durchsetzen kann, die das große ökonomische, wissenschaftlich-technische und geistige Potential der USA in die friedliche Zusammenarbeit im Rahmen der internationalen Gemeinschaft zur Lösung der globalen Menschheitsprobleme — allen voran die Friedenserhaltung — einbringt, wird deshalb wesentlich über die Perspektiven der USA-Gesellschaft entschieden. (Seite 160, Stock, Walter: Länder der Erde: USA)

Whose idea was the Berlin Wall? According to the German news magazine, der Spiegel, all Khrushchev’s. Read the English translation of Klaus Wiegrefe’s Spiegel article here: “The Krushchev Connection: Who Ordered the Construction of the Berlin Wall?“

However, an article entitled, “East Germans Pressured Soviets to Build Berlin Wall” by Jodi Koehn on the Wilsons Center website purports that the East Germans pressured Soviets to build the wall

Oct 17

The Beauty and Peril of the Mountains – Thorung La Pass and The Annapurna Circuit

“Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn.” – Jack Kerouac

This past week I was struck by the tragic news of the trekkers in Nepal who had gotten caught in a sudden snow storm while attempting to traverse the Thorung La Pass on the Annapurna Circuit.

Ages ago, I too had been faced with the challenge of overcoming Thorung La’s 5416 meter high peak.

For Austrians, der Berg always seems to be a’callin’. You’d be hard-pressed to find an Austrian whose DNA isn’t filled with mountain air and hiking blood.

Group of 6 hikers from 4 countries at Annapurna Circuit Trail Head, Sept many many years ago

Whether they are out admiring fields of wild crocuses in spring, hiking to the snowy rocky peaks in summer, welcoming the cows back from the Alms in fall or snowboarding down them at neck-breaking speed in winter, Austrians are always finding excuses to go to the mountains.

And if you spend enough time here, you will be dragged along too. Dragged until you come to realize the very civilized traditions they cultivate for the the fine art of hiking – Alms.

Yes, they’ve placed Alms at most peaks – sometimes several along a trail — so that you, weary hiker, are duly rewarded with some Bergkäse, freshly baked bread and Bier once you reach the top. That and a Schnaps.

But as much as they love the mountains and being rewarded for hikes, the Austrians know and respect the inherent dangers of their beloved peaks. Austrian radio will report snow falls and avalanche dangers throughout the year and no Austrian in his or her right mind would ever leave the trail head without proper equipment and preparation. And when someone ventures on some mountain in flip-flops, the rescue effort invariably makes the news along with ample attention given to the details (sometimes with photos) of the poor preparation of the idiot tourist who went out in shorts and sandals with no water, gear or food.

Annapurna Circuit

Me? I hail from city of steel and bridges. Pennsylvania has hoagies and chipped ham sandwiches, but mountains? So when I moved to Austria, I had a lot to learn. So much in fact that I could eventually rattle off terms like “Gletscherspalte” and not readily know the English translation for it — glacier cleft?

For this reason, when I ventured the Annapurna Circuit trekking route many moons ago, I was uneasy. The circuit winds through the Annapurna mountain range in the Nepalese Himalayas with stops along the way in remote villages where you can eat and spend the night.

The trek takes 18 – 21 days, and for 200 miles, you lug your pack through tropical jungles which lead into dry land in the shadow of the Himalayas and eventually high alpine terrain which then circles back down again to drier land and lush fields.

In his book about trekking, David Nolan writes about the attitude necessary to enjoy a trek. One must have the “ability to shrug off – or even relish — minor hardships.” He even uses the words “stoicism in the face of difficulty” and a “willingness to suck it up.” And some days you have to “suck it up” quite a bit. The trail isn’t for the faint of heart and most people who ventured on it were well prepared. At least back then they were and I assume today isn’t much different.

Annapurna Circuit Hanging Bridges

The group of us who had happened to meet up in the village at the trail head were small but amiable and we would meet up for the next three weeks in various villages at various times throughout our hike. A growing bond formed at these meet ups that would increasingly last late into the night as we shared tales about hanging bridges and the impressive loads of the “Tigers of Snow”. Though I started the hike rather slow, and most of the others fast, after a few days, they slowed and I picked up speed until eventually, at the base camp before the daunting pass, we all met up again.

We were weary from 10+ days of 8+ hour a day treks and apprehensive about the 5416 m (17,777 ft) pending peak. Everyone had heard the horrifying tales of trekkers who had died of altitude sickness, of the guy who had to help carry the girlfriend who didn’t make it back down the trail. The nationality and circumstances of the victims often changed, depending who was telling the story, but the message was always loud and clear — the mountains deserved respect and sometimes, things happen beyond your control and there is nothing you can do about it.

Village Along Annapurna Circuit

As I watched the images on CNN of the Nepalese soldiers loading stretchers on the helicopters and could spy the brightly colored woolen caps sticking out from under the black plastic tarps, my mind returned to my own trek and I couldn’t help but wonder, seeing all that deep snow, if any of us would have survived. The trek was and remains one of the most amazing life experiences I have ever had. It was one of the hardest but most rewarding things I have ever forced myself to do.

My heart goes out to the families of those trekkers who didn’t make it and I am rather certain, every trekker from all over the world who has ever ventured that pass feels a bond thinking of them.

NOTES ON THORUNG LA PASS FROM MY TREKKING JOURNAL

DAY 10 Phedi, meaning foot of hill (someone’s idea of a joke like calling the Danube ‘Blue’) is far more rotten than Mr. Oregon described. Initially vehemently opposed to the idea of rushing over the 5416 m high “hill”, preferring a day to rest and acclimatize, I have experienced a drastic change of heart. I want to get out of this place as soon as possible and we will join the Germans – Andre and Christian — and the Dane with his Sherpa guide, Tok, to go over tomorrow.

Annapurna Circuit Village

Tok is a great guy who spends his hours coaxing everyone to eat raw cloves of garlic to help our bodies produce more red blood cells which are responsible for transporting and distributing oxygen throughout the body. Either that or he is on a crusade to scare off all the vampires from here to Kathmandu and produce extremely foul smelling gastrointestinal winds. Did I mention how absolutely uninviting and cheerless the base camp is? The prices are extremely inflated and stretching our budgets. I doubt any place in the world exists where instant noodles are more costly. To quote another hiker’s eloquent but poignant observation describing our current state of affairs, “We are freezing our asses off at 4500 meters high.”

DAY 11 Phedi – Muktinath

Thorung La Pass Marker

Thorung La Pass

The big day! After a polar night without sleep in a concrete room with two cots and only sleeping bags for warmth, we awoke at 4 am to a dark sky full of more stars than I had ever seen in my life. Grateful to have survived what seems to have been quarters designed as the cool house, we go into the lodge at 4:30 am and order breakfast.

By 5:30 we are inching our way up the pass. The air is crisp and we are all wearing every single piece of clothing we have in our packs – too much to freeze to death yet not enough to keep warm. My Tibetan llama wool sweaters prove a good investment. In the south, the snow-covered peaks of Gangapurna and Annapurna III majestically dominate the dawning sky. As the sky lightens, the sun’s golden rays highlight the mountains making a beautiful backdrop with tones of red, orange and purple contrasting the white snow-crusted peaks. The path is dangerously steep and the air thin. We proceed at a snail’s pace because it is impossible to breathe and walk fast. None of us is showing any signs of altitude sickness. The morning is clear and beautiful. The further we climb, the more mountains we see.

Thorung La Pass Annapurna Circuit

False peaks have become the bane of my existence – elevations that taunt us from afar, leading us to believe that the actual peak is close because nothing seems to be higher. Yet once we reach the area, we realize the actual peak is still further on. I concentrate on placing one foot ahead of the other. I stop every 20 paces to catch my breath. I muster what seems every last bit of energy and determination to manage each additional step. I scan the landscape for a rock to rest without any luck. I fear, anyway, that if I were to take a break, I would fail to find the stamina necessary to continue.

At 10:30 and not a minute too soon, we finally reach the peak of Thorung La – 5416 meters high and marked by prayer flags strung from a pile of rocks!!!

Child in High Mountain Village Annapurna Circuit

We’ve made it!

Two Nepali tradesmen sit leisurely having their lunch beside their donkey – for them probably just one of several visits to the top. Yet we don’t let this dampen our sense of accomplishment. They greet us with a wave and then it is our turn to take possession of the rounded hilltop, stacked with stones and strewn with prayer flags tattered from flapping in the wind.

We all huddle on the peak, on top of our packs and shield our faces from the stinging Himalayan wind with scarves. Our eyes are protected from the glaring sunlight with sunglasses. The peak is a mixture of brown interspersed with patches of white snow.

The break proves more amusing than originally anticipated thanks to the Dane forcing poor Tok to document his hundreds of macho poses next to the marker. He is exemplary of a postcard I have describing all the characteristics of a perfect European. For example, the perfect European should cook like a Brit, drive like a Italian, have the patience of an Austrian, the sense of humor of a German and the modesty of the Dane. He is so into his photography session that we suspect he has hired Tok — not as a guide – but rather as a photographer.

Annapurna Circuit Album

With the Dane’s film out and our entertainment at an end, I sit on my backpack and enjoy the view and inactivity of my muscles. After about a half an hour, however, we notice that our clothes, wet with sweat and windbreakers thin, are not meant for long leisurely hangouts at the top of such a high peak. We all start to feel the chill of the wind biting at our bones.

Slowly we begin our descent. My knees ache. I try to adjust my walking, rolling from my inner soles to my outer soles instead of my heel to my forefeet. This doesn’t help. After about an hour, the snow dirt becomes dirt with a bit of grass. Another hour passes and we are hiking through a dark green grassy knoll resembling the postcards I have seen of Scotland. Large white rocks adorn the landscape and sheep graze about lazily.

Muktinath is 3800 meters high and we have a good 1600 altitude meters down – very steep – and our legs hurt more than when we climbed up. About 3 pm, totally exhausted and starving, we finally reach Muktinath. Oh – the wondrous sight of Muktinath.

As we lumber into the town of a hundred waters, we pass villagers carrying on with their daily routines. I try not to let their lack of enthusiasm sober my spirits. Throughout life, I have done many seemingly non-extraordinary things. I have let out high-pitched squeaks playing clarinet in our middle school band’s rendition of “Lady”; mumbled entire stanzas of “Flashdance” during the spring choral concert. I have stuttered through public speeches and nearly truncated fellow baton dancers during what was supposed to be a throw, spin, catch number. Throughout and unfailingly, unabashed innocent bystanders have shamelessly applauded for each and every one of these feats. And now – now after what may very well prove to be one of my greatest feats, I stumble onward without notice. Perhaps the moment of my greatest personal triumph, no one ventures to drop a hoe or release a donkey rein to clap or give a weak hoop of cheer. And why should they? Crazy foreigners. So I plod after the rest of our group, too elated, exhausted and hungry to think while we search for a place to dine and sleep in the holy mountainous village of Muktinath.

We parade to the same hotel where it’s rumored that we’ll find — of all things — Mexican food. We drop our bags in the dorm and trudge to the dining room. We all order beer and Schnapps. Goose bumps drape my limbs and I hunker into myself trying to warm my weary body as we wait for the rice and beans to arrive. Almost asleep before the food is served, I force myself to eat at least half but it’s useless. My desire to sleep surpasses my desire to celebrate. I wish everyone much mirth and merriment as I announce that I am off to bed. I lug my iron feet back to the dorm and am fast asleep before my head hits the pillow. Never in my life have I been more physically burned out. Each of my muscles ache in competition for my undivided attention but I don’t have the strength to notice.

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Oct 14

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Trust No One – Vienna, The Spy Capital

“To write fiction, as I do, is to lie in the idiom of truth. To lie in a language not truly my own is to put an extra fork in my tongue. To be a spy is also a fork matter. It means trying to be the virtuoso of a daily duality.”
– Austrian born, American writer, Frederic Morton

A couple weeks ago at a writer’s conference, I ended up having lunch together with a British author. Halfway through the Quattro Stagioni, I mentioned that I live in Vienna. His eyes lit up and it wasn’t from the vino da tavola rosso (well maybe that too). Ahh, spy capital of the world.

He then confessed that his current book project concerns the real life tale of a former spy. From there we talked non-stop. Intriguing tales of the world of espionage got us so carried away that he almost ran late for an afternoon panel discussion featuring him as one of the special guests.

Key Logging – no doubt an effective spying tool

If the Vienna Tourist Board had an ad to attract spies to the city, I am sure it would read something like this:

If you’re a spy, Vienna is the place to go.

A Russian spy? Serve yourself up some Austrian Schnapps and reminisce with your comrades about the good old days after WWII. With your ten additional years in the city, I am sure you grew well acquainted with all we have to offer and who wouldn’t want to be posted at the station rumored to be the strongest intelligence headquarters outside the Soviet Bloc?

And the rest of you? Vienna welcomes all spies, all languages, all nationalities — that’s just how we are. Multi-kulti. That’s us. And we’re sure you’ll enjoy your clandestine existence in a place consistently voted world’s number one most livable city. We’ve got international stores and restaurants (amazing steaks and even a doughnut shop), top quality English-language international schools, acres of parks, annual balls hosted at the imperial palace and cultural events to keep you busy every hour of every day of the week.

Location, location, location

There’s that too. A great infrastructure with international flight and train connections, located in the heart of central Europe with easy access north, south, east or west. Bratislava? Just a 1.5 hour hydrofoil ride away. Budapest? In less than three hours and no transfers, you’re there by train. And trains leave every two hours. Prague? As of December, in just 4 hours and 10 minutes you’re there. Again, trains leaving every two hours. Munich? about 4 hours by train. Venice? Less than 6 hours by car. Zagreb? Less than 4 hours by car. Belgrade? 6.5 hours by car. Flights? Moscow: 2 hours, 40 minutes; London: 2 hours, 21 minutes, Ankara: 2 hours, 32 minutes; Bagdad: 4 hours. You get the picture.

And let’s not forget highly trained and qualified medical personnel, interpreters and translators, all at your finger tips. But if we’re honest, you’ll be moving heaven and earth to prolong your Vienna assignment because of the Grüner Veltliner, Ottakringers, Melanges and Milkas. What more could a 007 want? O.K. Maybe a martini shaken, not stirred. Vienna got that too.

Nowadays everyone is spy-worthy – a camera in the Vienna subway

And the Austrians? As long as you agree not to spy on them personally because that would be a big no-no – then hey – alles in Ordnung. Foreign espionage activities are not illegal in Austria, unless they are directed against Austria. Alles klar, Herr Leamas?

But don’t let that deter you from relocating. There’s plenty of spy-worthy targets here to keep even the most ambitious spies satisfied.

As a United Nation headquarters, Vienna is home to many international organizations such as the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE), the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) and the UN Office for Drugs and Crime (UNODC). Of the 17,000 or so diplomats who reside here, it’s estimated that about half have connections to intelligence agencies which would make it the city with the highest density of foreign operatives in the world.

But every rose has its thorns. It’s like the house guest who starts to feel a little too much at home and starts to take advantage of the situation. Because spies oftentimes feel comfortable here, Vienna is also chosen as an ideal location for covert actions –like kidnappings, dead drops, high level international spy damage control negotiations and prison exchanges.

In July 2010, for example, Vienna International Airport was the chosen tarmac for Russians and Americans to do a little change your partner number and swap 14 agents. Eleven Russian agents – including the stunning femme fatale Russian spy, Anna Chapman , were rounded up by US authorities in Virginia, New York, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Washington and Cyprus a month before and then exchanged for three individuals accused of spying for the US and who Russian authorities had held in custody for over 6 years.

But in general, Austria’s spy guests tend to be well-behaved and the Viennese, for their part, have found their place in the spy world beneficial. After all, it was the Armenian spy Johannes Diodato who, in addition to using his connections with the Viennese Imperial Court to send information to his home country, used information from his home country to open Vienna’s first ever coffeehouse. And all Viennese love a good coffeehouse.

Sticker in Vienna subway indicating presence of camera

“Vienna has long been a center of accomplished deception. For centuries, the Hapsburg capital was above all a courtier town whose citizens were trained rigorously to hide purpose under manner… Even today, the conjuring of otherness, the crafting of illusion, is important, not just for practical advantage but as a dynamic of Viennese culture. This genius for artifice underlies Vienna’s affinity for art. It shapes Vienna’s flourishes: the stylishly indirect speech, the use of titles, the adroit courtesy, the instinctive use of charm as strategy..[and according to Karl Kraus, Vienna’s pre-eminent satirist, in Vienna] ‘Politics is what one does in order to hide what one is.’” Frederic Morton

More about Johannes Diodato:

Vienna City Website: “History of Viennese coffee house culture”

In Vienna’s 4^th district, there is a Johannes-Diodato-Park which I think is dedicated in honor of his brewing beans rather than intrigue.

Spy books that take place in or pass through Vienna:

Another unconventional quasi-spy story is A Death In Vienna by Daniel Silva

Prelude to Terror by Helen MacInnes is spy story set in Vienna

John Le Carre: A Perfect Spy: Background of story at Wikipedia

Valerie Plame and Sarah Lovett: Blowback

National Public Radio, Inskeep, Steve and Pearl, Nancy, “Librarian’s Picks: The Best in Spy Fiction“, 2 February 2005

Morton, Frederic, “The Two Sides of Block, Vienna Spy Tale Fit for Austrian Capital” 9 Aug 1989, http://articles.philly.com/1989-08-09/news/26150203_1_felix-s-bloch-diplomat-vienna, accessed 11 October 2014

More Links with Vienna Spy Stories / News:

ABC News Report about Spy Swap in Vienna Vision Airlines Plane Sends 10 Russian Spies Home, July 9, 2010, Brian Ross and Megan Chuchmach

Vienna Review, “Spy vs. Spy: 20 years after the fall of the USSR, Vienna is still the espionage capital of Europe; A puzzling saga of Cold War proportion,” Rabel, Sarah, Rollwagen Joseph, Stadtlober, Hannah, 1 September 2010

The Telegraph, “Vienna named as Global Spying Hub in New Book,” McElroy, Damien, 31 July 2014

The New York Times, “US Weighs Dismissing Bloch but has an Evidence Problem,” Engelberg, Stephen, 30 September 1989

The Telegraph, “Five Unlikely Objects that could use in Espionage” 6 August 2014

Mental Floss, “World War I Centennial: Gay Spy Scandal Rocks Vienna,” Sass, Eric, 25 May 2013

RT, “NSA spies on OSCE HQ in Vienna – report,” 22 May 2014

Sun Sentinel, from NY Times, “Marine Gives Conflicting Accounts about Spy Case” 30 March 1987

The Local, Austria News in English, “Austria Investigates US Spy’s Local Links,” 13 July 2014

Press TV, “NSA spy center in Vienna snooping on citizens: Report” 13 October 2014

RiaNovosti, “Vienna Named International Spy Capital,” 1 August 2014

Two Articles with Interviews with Siegfried Beer who is works with the Austrian Center for Intelligence, Propaganda and Security Studies – articles downloaded from the ACIPSS website where more information is available for download. Beer_Profil_Artikel Kaffeehaus_July2012_Siegfried-Beer(1)

Website of Fiction Author K.C. Blau

Posts from the ‘Current Events’ Category

(About) Time to Make the Donuts – Dunkin Donuts Hits Vienna

Tearing Down the Walls that Divide – 25 Years after the Fall of the Berlin Wall – Lessons in Light of the Recent US Election Results

The Beauty and Peril of the Mountains – Thorung La Pass and The Annapurna Circuit

Trust No One – Vienna, The Spy Capital

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